Well dear readers, this will be my final post. I know it's been months since my last post but I've been rather busy with Terintiny. In fact, last week, he asked me to marry him. So that's it, I'm a married woman (well not quite yet). Thanks so everyone for reading. Good luck to all of you!

I’d like to say that I’ve been really really busy and that’s why my attempt at starting up this blog has, for all intents and purposes, failed. That’s not exactly true. Mostly, I’m lazy and don’t have too much to write about.

T is still in Canada. I went up to visit him last weekend and what was supposed to be a nice, romantic weekend, ended up being a miserably, rainy bitch fest. We could not stop picking at each other. I think that’s what happens when you haven’t seen someone in a long time. You build up this perfect person in your head and when you finally do get to see them, they can only disappoint. Not that this weekend was any detriment to our relationship. I am still blissfully in love with him. All this weekend did was convince me that he MUST come home. This stress of being apart is really starting to destroy us. I worry that he isn’t working as hard as he should to come back home.

This whole experience is really teaching me how much of a “do-er” I really am. I said to T while I was in Toronto that if it were me in his position, I would have been back in New York. He agreed and apologized for allowing this to go on so long. But he still had no solutions for me. It’s frustrating and if I didn’t love him so much, he’d be kicked to the curb. Unfortunately, I’m in love with him, which means that I am fucked.

On another note, I hung out with my coworker last night. We all went out to an office party, where I sipped diet coke and made snarky comments about our jobs. When all of our other coworkers went off to bigger and better parties, coworker and I stuck around to shmooze with to execs. He bought me drinks and made jokes about how he’s my other Jewish Canadian. I couldn’t help but feel like this could have ended badly. Let me allay fears. Even though I hung out with him till way past midnight, nothing happened. Maybe some harmless flirting but nothing more than that. It did make me realize that I do still kinda like him. At least, I don’t despise him and he certainly doesn’t despise me.

After the work party, he and I headed to a party thrown by his alumni association. He coerced me into going by promising that there would be drunk Canadians. I can’t pass up an opportunity to hear drunken Canuks say “Aboot” so I went. And I had a good time. It made me realize that I hadn’t really been out and certainly hadn’t been drinking, in a very long time. And it was nice to be out, meeting new people. I texted T all night though…

I’d like to talk about exes. More specifically, I would like to talk about the sorry ass people who date your exes after you kick them to the curb.

Okay that’s mean, but kinda true.

Here’s the story. 2 and a half years ago I was dating a boy. We had been dating for about 2 years when things started to go a little south. His mother always hated me because I was the heathen Jew having sex with her son and he kinda let him control her. So it took about 6 months for us to actually break up. In this time, I introduced my ex to a friend of mine from college, Lauren. I guess they took a liking to each other and started hanging out a lot…behind my back. At one point (I found this out after we broke up) she said to him “NotIntoYou doesn’t treat you right, I can treat you better.”

So you bet, weeks after he and I broke up, they started dating. All of his friends hated her and hated the way she manifested her insecurities as control over him. So they broke up…sort of. They are constantly being caught hanging out and my friend even caught him doing the walk of shame back from Lauren’s apartment in Queens.

Anyway, none of this was an issue because I wanted to have as little as possible to do with my ex. Until recently. Some of you who actually know me, know I’m making a record. And I hit a little snag and I needed his help. He’s one of the best producers that will work for pennies, so I called him up. And we started working together and it’s great! I put his name up on my website, telling people that he’s helping out and everything will be great!

Then this morning I get this phone call from him. He’s stammering and sounding completely retarded. He says to me, “I was wondering if you could take my name off your website. There are certain people who might be upset if they knew I was working with you…” I knew immediately it was Lauren and I said “are you dating Lauren again?” Weakly, like a man beaten down he told me he was. I laughed, I couldn’t help it. This girl seems to be controlling him even when they are on again off again. I feel for the guy, really I do, but he lets women control him. Anyway, I had to do it. I don’t want to piss him off. I took his name off the site. I think it’s ridiculous, but it’s not really that big of an issue.

When I hung up the phone, I couldn’t help but get all angry and emotional. I mean, who is this girl? Why does she think I have any interest in ever wanting this boy, who I dumped (not just broke up with, I kicked him to the curb) and never even looked back? It’s totally and completely irrational and I’m kinda pissed about it. I mean, I want to have a professional relationship with this person and having the anxiety of a jealous girlfriend hanging over my head, makes that difficult. At least he didn’t tell me he wasn’t doing the record anymore. I would have to kill both of them if that happened.