I had a minor panic attack last night. I realized, it's pretty shitty to leave a job that you've been at less than 8 months. I started September 1 so if I leave April 25th or so, that's pretty shitty. What the hell am I gonna do? How am I going to get away with this? I think Asheville should move here so I can keep my job for at least a year. What do you think?

On another note:
I realized I haven't had sex in over a month. That's crazy. This is the longest I've gone without sex in quite a while. Now I know most of you are rolling your eyes and cursing me but this is weird for me. I mean, I was in a relationship for over 2 years where I think I probably went a month without having sex. Now I'm single and not having sex for over a month is weird. That seems kind of bass akwards to me.

All of this is about to change mind you...although I've kind been thinking about holding out on Asheville in Asheville. If I didn't want to get laid so badly on my birthday I probably could hold out on Asheville. The one night we almost had sex in Israel he told me he wasn't emotionally invested enough to have sex with me. And it got me thinking...wouldn't it be nice to be emotionally invested in someone before you sleep with them? I don't even like some people I've slept with in the past year. Wouldn't it be great to really want someone, want to make that person feel good, want to love them and make love to them?

It's certainly something to think about. Last year on my birthday was the first night I ever had casual sex. It was with one of the boys who would later turn out to be my fuck buddy but it was certainly a casual experience. I went up with him to Queens and we shagged like bunnies till 5am. Then I got up in the morning and we didn't it again. Good times.

This year I hope the birthday nookie will be more special and just the beginning of good times to come.