Happy birthday to me…

So I’m sitting in Newark , patiently awaiting my flight. I am heading to North Carolina for my birthday. Well, more for my birthday weekend. See I got screwed with Priceline (not totally screwed seeing as it was a cheap ass flight) but I basically spend most of my birthday traveling. I guess that’s okay. At 9pm, Asheville picks me up in Greenville, SC and then we get a fun filled 45 minute drive. I’m just anticipating that drive and I’m so nervous. I’m thinking about the awkward silences, the almost painful “I missed you” “yeah, me too” comments. Why am I so nervous about this? I’m worried that I’ve built this boy up in my head the same fucked up way that I built up the Lorax or any of the other winners I’ve dated in the last year. I so desperately want this one to be different that I fear I’ve dug myself into the very same pattern I always do. Can he possibly live up to my expectations? Can I?

Yummmmm coffee is good. I was so proud, I went the whole day without injecting caffeine into my body but alas, I’m at the airport, I’m bored and I want to stay awake long enough to have sex later.. That would be nice wouldn’t it. I can just picture it: Asheville and I can’t keep our hands off each other, making out, we get to his bed (in what he has warned me over and over again is a tiny studio apartment) and as he’s taking off my clothes, I’m taking a little nap. Ha! Love it. No no no that could never ever happen. Man I am totally bugged out. This is pretty huge. I get to meet his friends tomorrow, he’s gonna meet some of mine. I also get to meet some friends that I’ve only known over email through other singer/songwriter buddies of mine. Should be fun. This weekend could be the beginning of my life in Asheville, with Asheville. Or it could very well be another silly get-away weekend with someone who I feel way too hard for, way too quickly. We shall see, we shall see.