return to the scene of the crime.

I am sitting in JFK airport (G-d bless wireless internet!) and I realize that I haven't been here since January 7th, the day I got back from Israel. I passed by the cafe that me and my soon to be friends ate at before we left for Israel, I walked by the gate and the collection of seats where I cheerfully introduced myself to Asheville. I can't help but feel really really fucking sad.

Okay it's not just the airport. It's not even really Asheville. It's just been one of those days. I'm still sick as hell and now, I have the worst case of larygitis that I've had in a long time. But it's not even that. Today at work I was instructed to sit down with my coworkers and come up with job descriptions for each of us. This is an attempt to make us more efficient in our jobs and have a better understanding of what everyone does. It did not do either of these things for me. What it did do is a) make me realize just how much I do hate my job and b) make me realize how little my coworkers value what I do.

It's time to quit. Yes, it would ideal to have another job lined up before I jump ship on this job. I'm probably too chicken to leave without some kind of security anyway. Although this decision is exhilarating and exciting, it also scares the shit out of me. The job I want is a freelance, temporary position....so temporary in fact, that it only lasts me until mid june. Then what the hell do I do? Also what about health insurance? What about paying my rent?

Wasn't I a lot more fun when I was having threesomes and fucking up my romantic life?

Anyway I'm going home for passover. Hopefully my family can knock some sense into me. Hopefully they will have that sage like advice that I'm yearning for. Hopefully, they'll know someone who needs to hire a graphic designer.