What a girl won’t do just so she won’t have to take a cab home from East Williamsburg.

It’s amazing the kind of attention you get when you’re wearing nothing but a bra. No I was wearing a sheer shirt over the bra, but really, I felt like I was walking around in my bra. Anyway, I went out with Laura to hear a friend of our play and then we went to a rooftop part in East Williamsburg (yes, apparently it does exist). Anyway this party was on the roof of a semi-converted warehouse. It was pretty cool but literally in the middle of nowhere. Anyway Laura and I left the roof to find a bathroom. We also found a guy apparently coming home to find his building filled with people. Laura was wearing this odd cape-like thing, which he immediately made fun of. We immediately hated him. But he grabbed my attention long enough to convince me to keep talking him. He seemed, well, nice and really fucking cute.

Eventually our conversation moved to his apartment. Laura gave me a disapproving look as I walked in with him (she was still mad at him and very protective of her girl). I walk into this huge studio apartment with 2 beds, a desk and a couch. The ceilings must be 30 feet high and the entire wall is windows. It’s pretty fucking cool. He and I settle on the couch and continue our conversation. I learn that he is a music major who also works in the communications department of Parsons. Even though he’s an undergrad there’s no way that he’s the age of an undergrad. I figure he’s about 24. He said he took some time off of school to play with a band, Ambulance Ltd (http://www.ambulancenyc.com/). My eyes light up. “Laura knows those guys and I have you on my ipod!” He smiled and said, “yup, I’m on that EP you have.” Small world.

This is when it starts to get weird. He has a guitar and I mention that I play too. He immediately makes me play him a song, which I do. Then we talk the biz for a bit. I mention that I have a website and he looks me up. As he’s reading my bio he smiles and says “oh man, you’re from Bethesda!” Shocked, I ask him if he’s from Bethesda and I don’t really get an answer. He just keeps asking me questions about where I went to high school, people I know, places I hung out in in Bethesda. So I ask again, “are you from there?” Still nothing. This was the beginning of a very weird night of him not answering my questions.

Eventually the truth comes out that he grew up near Bethesda, went to high school with some of my friends and graduated the same year I did. Crazy! So he strums me a few tunes on the guitar and gets me a glass of water. And we continue chatting the night away when I realize that it’s 2:30 and all my friends, including Laura, have probably left.

So I settle myself in and come to grips with the fact that I am staying in this strangers apartment tonight. Now I mentioned there were 2 beds in this room right? Well that’s because he lives there, with his roommate. I shit you not, 2, 24 year old men living in the same room. So his roommate comes home with his girlfriend and they immediately crawl into bed and turn out the light. They hardly even acknowledge our presence and we keep talking, ignoring theirs. The are especially ignoring us when they start making out, possibly more, while this guy (oh, he needs a name…I’ll get to that) and I are chatting on the couch. Weird. Anyway I ask him what his last name is. He asks me why I need to know. Now mind you, this wasn’t a paranoid kind of “why do you need to know” thing, it was more like him being kinda smug. I don’t know I oculdn’t place it. I think he thought he was being cute because he knew it infuriated me. Many times during the night he called me over inquisitive, and then followed that statement up with “no, it’s cute” so I’m not really sure what to think. Anyway, he didn’t give me his last name. And when 4am rolled around and he informed me that the L train was no longer running back into Manhattan and I might as well stay, I asked him again. No real response. He did say, Thor! Don’t ask me why, the words just came out of his mouth. So from hence forth, he shall be known as Thor.

So Thor coaxing me into his bed. I lay there, fully clothed, not kissing, not touching really and just talking. But that doesn’t last too long. He and I start hugging…or whatever that pre-making-out thing is called. Still no kissing. I start to tease him a little, almost kissing him and whispering in his ear. I asked him again about the name, and still no last name. This is so fucking weird.

Anyway we’re pretty much going at it by now, 5am ish. He gets me almost completely naked except for my bra, which he can’t seem to get off. This is my opportunity, I finally have the upperhand. I reach around to my back in order to take off my bra and I say in my sexiest voice, “what’s your name?” as I raise my eyebrows. When he didn’t tell me I started to put all my clothes back on. He grabs me and yells out “insert last name here!”

I felt like I had won. So I took my bra off.

When we woke up in t he morning it was weird. His roommate and the girlfriend woke up about the same time we did and it was bright and sunny in the apartment. I was completely naked under this sheet (thank G-d for the sheet) and I started to grab my clothes and get dressed under the sheet. I put my skirt on backwards.

Around 10:30 I decided it was time to go home. I got up from the bed and he said “so, you’re on email right?” and he confirmed my email address. He gave me directions back to the L, gave me a hug and a weird side kiss and walked me to the door. I never expected to hear from him ever again.

Which is why I was completely blown away this morning when I saw his email:
hey not into you

it was nice meeting you the other night. we should get together for a cup of tea and some stimulating conversation... I'm busy most of the week, but maybe we can steal an hour or so one evening.

Thor

So close to not being an asshole, but still, an asshole none the less.