It’s the ex-boyfriend show! Starring, NotIntoYou! With special appearances by, College Boyfriend, Corn Fed Ex, the Lorax, and Asheville!

So yeah, when it rains, it pours. When one ex comes back, they all come crawling back. So last week I had dinner with the Lorax. We actually had a really great time. We talked, I told him the whole saga of Asheville and we were totally getting along as friends. He told me about the new girl he’s seeing…

The on Monday I spoke to the ex from College…see last entry for more info.

The yesterday I got an email from my Corn Fed, Montana raised ex who was always too pretty, too nice and too amazing for me. I had to break up with him….well I broke up with him to date the college boyfriend. Anyway he’s basically been a serial monogamist since…so every email I get from him there’s a new serious girl in his life…what a mess.

So the kicker. Asheville is in town. Yesterday he called me and wanted to have lunch. I was so good. I was a complete and total bitch to him for about 45 minutes. But then with his classic Asheville style he turned it around. He starred, he grabbed my hands. He apologized over and over for being such a dick…note, he didn’t say “I’ve been a dick, and I’m not going to treat you that way anymore” he just said he was sorry. So I kept my guard up. He kissed me. I went back to work.

About an hour late I got a text message from him. He told me he was glad I let him take me to lunch and he was glad he saw me. Then I texted him back and told him I was happy to see him as well. Then he asked me if I wanted to get together later. I told him I was going to a party with a friend but I would see…

Then he called.

He said that he was hanging with his friend and he said that tonight might be weird for us to hang out. But then he made the grand gesture of inviting me to his parents house and then off to a concert on Saturday night. What the fuck? He wanted to make it clear to me that I wasn’t “meeting his parents” it was just a matter of convenience because the concert is up in Connecticut and it’s close to his parents house. So I’m an asshole, I said I would go.

Fast forward to around 8pm. He texted me and said he wasn’t really having the best time with his friends and he wanted to see me. I told him I was with my friends but I would call him later. Around 10 or 11 I called him and we made a plan to meet up…at my apartment. Yes, the sleepover. So we meet down at my place and I give him the grand tour of my apartment. He’s a little blown away…fast forward to him sitting there, breathing down my neck, kissing me…I’m attempting to resist but come on! We’ve already slept together, he’s there, in my bed, we’re gonna have sex. So we make out forever and give each other that look. That “this is gonna be weird in the morning” look. So we had sex, twice. It was alright. I feel like he and I don’t exactly fit. I mean, I like having sex with him, don’t get me wrong. But it doesn’t blow me away…the lorax generally blew me away but Asheville…I don’t know.

Well anyway, I didn’t sleep very well but it felt good to snuggle into his arms. When we woke up this morning I jokingly asked him “were you planning on sexing me up at your parent’s house?” and he stumbled and said “well, uh, no, yeah, I mean, I’m not opposed to it, but, uh, that wasn’t the point, I just wanted to hang out with you…” I laughed, kissed him and hopped in the shower.

We had breakfast and started to walk to the subway. As we’re walking we, clarified what last night meant. Basically, me meeting his parents tomorrow…not as a girlfriend, as a friend. I can’t help but feel like that’s a little bit of bullshit. His parents fucking love me already and they don’t even know me. I’m the nice Jewish girl who swept their son off his feet in Israel of all places. But whatever, I don’t want him back…at least not in the state he’s in.

So here I am, tired as hell, writing my blog at work. I need a huge change in my life…any suggestions?