So as I said, life is unbelievably short. Which is why as I was going through my list of people to call because “life is to short to stay mad” I paused for a minute at my ex (the real ex, the 2.5 year ex who I really thought I might marry) but thought twice…maybe I’ll call him later. Oops, too late, he called me. No he had no idea about what happened. He didn’t know about the fact that I was upset today, that something horribly tragic had happened and I wanted to talk to him. He didn’t know, he just…called. I haven’t spoken to him in ages.

So I told him the story of Jordan, almost cried. Then I changed the subject. I didn’t want to cry about it anymore. I had told the story way too many times. So we talked, and talked and talked. I told him all about not moving to North Carolina, he told me all about hating living with his girlfriend. I told him all about not being crazy about my job, he told me all about finally starting to like his. It was actually one of the best phone conversations I’ve had in quite a while. It was so easy talking to him. I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn’t my boyfriend anymore. We weren’t even friends anymore. I’m just feeling sad and vulnerable and needy. I needed someone like him to be easy to talk to. He knew when I needed to get the story out and move on.

So we almost finished our 2 hour conversation when it happened. He said, “we should get together for coffee sometime…but we can’t tell anyone.” I knew it! His girlfriend is a jealous bitch…I couldn’t help myself. I said “So I hear Lauren (yes, that’s her real fucking name!) is a bitch.” He laughed and said “who said that?” I said,”well, not a bitch just…protective.” He agreed and proceeded to tell me all about how he finally understood how unattractive his jealousy was with me. He finally understood that there is nothing he can do to make her feel better and it’s her own insecurities. There’s nothing he can do…I felt a little bad for him. The poor guy sounded defeated. I’m not even sure he likes her that much but he’s clearly trapped because he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. It sounded eerily familiar.

So I agreed to have coffee with him next week and we could continue our conversation. I’m actually a little excited to have him back in my life AS A FRIEND. He’s a nice guy just not someone I would ever want to be romantically involved with again…way too needy, way too jealous, way too not Jewish.

So my shitty ass day ended on an upswing of sorts. Maybe this week will be not as painful as I anticipated…maybe.