Last night I went to a party that was supposed to be the party to end all parties. But it wasn’t. Dude, I looked hot, had my boobie shirt on, makeup, the works. I was ready, ready to hit on my old coworker.

Yes I know what you’re all thinking, “isn’t she still with Older Navy?” and the answer is yes, I am. But I’m breaking up with him. I’m just waiting for that inevitable moment that he pisses me off and I can call him on the shit he does. It hasn’t come, mostly because he hasn’t returned my calls.

Anyway the party, so I’m all sexed up, feeling good. I get there and all my former coworkers are there hanging out. I say hi to my coworker but I don’t linger too long, just say hi, go talk to others. I meet another guy, a cute guitar player for a band that I’ve actually heard of. We kind hit it off. I make sure that he and I are hitting it off fairly close to my old coworker so he can butt in at any moment to steal me away from this guy. He actually did attempt to at one point.

The guitar player’s family is from Israel as is my coworker’s father. The guitar players dad fought in both the Russian army and the Israeli army. This is when my coworker came into the picture. He told me that his dad even fought in the six day war. We talked about that for a while but then he lapsed back into his adorable, yet slightly frustrating awkward silence thing that he does. I went back to my conversation with the guitar player.

Eventually the whole group moved to a less crowded spot on the roof. We all talked, made jokes and generally acted like assholes…it was fun. When we all got off the roof I went off to check my messages and pee. I had a message from my former boss. There was an emergency and he needed to get in touch with my coworker. Anyway I called my coworker who was upstairs and we walked my former boss through the issue.

When I got back upstairs I had a message from my coworker giving me very detailed directions as to where they were…I think he was anxious for us to find each other. Once I found him, he was alone…everyone had left. He was stressing out about the emergency and wondering if (even though there was nothing he could have done to prevent it) he would be help responsible for it. I tried to calm him down with hugs, hand holding, basically any contact that I could. I think it worked. The boy is kinda constantly a nervous wreck so it’s hard to tell when he’s “calm.” Lord knows why I like this boy.

Anyway it’s bordering on midnight and he says he’s going to leave. He stutters a bit and asks me what I’m up to. I told him I was probably going to stay but gave him that “I’ll do whatever you want me to do” look. It didn’t work, maybe it was to subtle for him. He looked at me, while we were holding both hands and said goodnight. He was so awkward in his skin, I thought he might explode. So I got another hug but no kiss, nothing.

Anyway I decided that since I didn’t have to work in the morning I was in it for the long haul. Being on vacation is great! So I walk around the party looking for another beer (I was not nearly drunk enough…one beer and one mixed drink over the course of 4 hours does not a buzz make) and I walked into a room where the guitar player was sitting. He was looking ever so pimping nestled between two girls. When he saw me he smiled, got up and offered me his chair. I met the two girls, both Russian, like the guitar player. Apparently, they all go way back from years of being out and partying. So I talk to them for an hour, smoke a little pot (it’s been a while) and talk about sex. It’s a good time. Then the guitar player suggests that it’s time to leave the party. He looks at me, asks, no tells me to come with him to the Lower East Side to a bar. One of the Russian girls decides she wants to come with. So the three of us hop in a cab and head to the LES. Outside we run into a friend of the guitar players. He introduces himself and we all go inside. We sit around a booth, not talking and listening to the music. The guitar player is torn as to which girl he’s going to flirt with…guys like this are fun to hang out with but fairly toxic.

Anyway his friend asks me if I want to dance. Reluctantly I did and actually had a pretty good time. While I was dancing I notice that the Russian girl makes her move. She is all over him. So I take that as my cue to leave. I am not about to fight over some player guitarist that I’m not that into…oh yeah, and I have a boyfriend. Anyway I tell everyone goodnight. The guitar player looks at me, rather upset and tells me I should email him. He kisses me quite passionately on the cheek if such a thing exists. His friend insists on walking me out. He does, I bolt before he can kiss me and I walk away. The fucking cab ride home cost me 15 bucks. I never want to hang out on the LES again.

Anyway so that was my night. I have a lot more to tell you about why I’m breaking up with Older Navy (although I would imagine most of you don’t need any more explanation than what is already in this blog) and how the unemployed (temporarily) life is but I just needed to get this down before I forgot. Stay cool.