Ewwwwwww, I thought he was going to suck my face off. Why won't Googleguy learn that it is unacceptable to stick your tongue down a person’s esophagus and attempt to suck out their brains via their nostrils? So yeah, tonight was most likely the final date with Googleguy. It's unfortunate because he's such a nice guy, but the thought of kissing him more makes me physically ill. That's so sad but it's so true. I also think that he and I have absolutely nothing in common but that's beside the point.
So anyway tonight we went out dancing. And while we were out dancing I ran into someone I had met in my past. I didn't really know how I knew him but I just knew I knew him. He was very cute, very my type. We did that "Oh! Hey! How are you? What are you up to?" both clearly knowing that the other has no real idea of who you are. Fortunately he had a friend with him. I introduced myself to his friend and loudly told him my name. Tada! Now cute boy that I sort of know has my name. Stealthfully I ask his friend what Cute boy’s name is. He cheerlfully volunteered the information, laughing because he clearly knew that I didn’t know Cute Boys name and I would eventually have to ask him. He turned right around and told the cute boy that I had asked him what his name was...this spawns a whole "So how do I know you?" conversation, which leads to flirting, leads to dancing, leads to me leaving Googleguy alone dancing by himself for a little while. Poor Googleguy. Cute boy notices this and points out that my date looks lonely. I go and dance with Googleguy while still throwing glances (and the occasional touch) at cute boy.
It's hot as shit in this club and I keep going out to get some air. Cute boy follows, he asks for my number. I give it to him, kiss him on the cheek and let him go his merry way. Googleguy and I go back to his place to make out a little, I really felt as if I might vomit. I made an excuse to leave. How do I let him down, and how long until I can start stalking cute boy via google?
"Having lunch with you is like watching an episode of Sex and the City"
So it begins, my dating blog. I will attempt to change the names of the people in this blog as much as I can in order to protect the not so innocent. We'll see how that goes. I'm attempting to keep this blog as a tool for my emotions and for your entertainment.
2 comments:
let google guy go quickly. we like him. teach him how to kiss a woman before you dump him. explain what he is doing wrong. men at 23 you are invincible. this is just the way guys are. goggleguy is a great boy. help make him into a great man. explain to him that women enjoy tenderness and patience in all things love related. be they physical or psychological slow and steady most often wins the day. googleguy makes me wish that i had lived in the pacific northwest. i feel that sensitivity would be much easier had i experienced that way of life. i should have left home in 1991 and gone to experience seattle sound first hand. curse my metal body. i wasn't bold enough. stop stalking cute boy. if he doesn't call you this week let cute boy go. be patient. it all works out in the end. i need more east village nights with ex pats from my noho and beautiful and sincere singers who will one day be great. i also need to play jenga in mid january with F.O.B. (friends of beth) out side while inhaling second hand smoke and drinking second hand whiskey. when i woke up this morning i wasn't sure last night was a great night. as i finish this entry now i know it was.
See, it's true. If the boy can't kiss, the boy got to go. Licking the bottom of your stomach (from the top of the inside) is an unacceptable practice.
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