Sunday, October 30, 2005

My mom told me not to fuck this one up…okay, she didn’t use those words exactly, and she doesn’t know the whole story…but she basically told me not to fuck this one up.

Anyway, Saturday night was one of the biggest party night of the year, especially in Manhattan. My coworker (the one I’ve had a crush on for a long long long time…no not the one from my old job, the one from MTV) invited me to a party.

Saturday evening I squeezed myself into a 34A bright pink bra, size 4 black corset, jeans, gold pumps and a black wig and labeled myself Ashlee Simpson, circa 2004. It worked. Isn’t Halloween just an excuse for us girls to dress all slutty anyway? So I made my way downtown to see a show and then neatly arrive at the party an hour after I was told to arrive. Unfortunately, I still arrived before my coworker. I managed to mingle and my bra peaking out from under my corset was definitely getting attention.

My coworker and his roommates showed up and we started dragging me around, introducing me to his friends. Once he did that, he kinda did his own thing for a while. I’m a big girl, I talked to other people. AS the night progressed he and I started talking more and more and closer and closer. Yes, he was a bit drunk but you can’t blame the fact that our faces were centimeters away from each other purely on alcohol. When the party wound down, we all headed to a bar a few blocks away. I walked to the bar with a friend of my coworker’s, who clearly wanted to get under my little pink bra. He kissed me on the corner of the street near the bar and asked if I wanted to get out of there. I told him no. Partly because I wanted to see if I could get with my coworker and partly because, I really didn’t want to go. I wanted to see where this night was going. I was having a really good time.

So we get to the bar and I kinda ditched my coworker’s friend. I crammed myself next to my coworker on the dance floor and we resumed our close talking. I’m not quite sure when it happened, but all of a sudden, we were kissing. He stopped and said to me “NotIntoYou, we work together! Is this going to be weird?” I thought about it for a while, but the fact is, neither of us can really answer that question. Yes, it may be weird down the line, or it may be great. Right now, all I wanted to do was kiss him. And clearly, that is what he wanted to do because without waiting for a reply, he kissed me more. I noticed his friend leave the bar.

Later in the night when we came up for air he asked if (since we were clearly going home together) we could attempt to keep our hands off of each other long enough so we could socialize with his friends. So we did that, and they were awesome. He’s from Canada and a lot of his friends went to McGill with him. I love Canadians!

Eventually he and I left the bar. I’m fairly sober as I usually am in these kinds of situations. He’s a little bit tipsy but clearly knows what he’s doing and the gravity of the situation. So we walk hand in hand back to his apartment. We’re giggling and talking about the potential awkwardness this will spawn. Yet, we’re still stopping every few feet to suck face and pull each other in close. He says to me “will this be weird Monday morning? What should we do?” And I said to him “I think we pretend during the day that this didn’t happen.” He nodded and kissed me and opened the door to his apartment.

Quick back story. I met this boy over a year ago when I interviewed for this job at MTV. I ended up turning it down for a variety of reasons, but I never forgot that adorable Jewish boy who would have been my coworker. When I came back, a year later I was surprised and delighted to see the same boy at the desk next to mine. Over the past few months he and I have been working long hours and even weekends together, attempting to get a big project done. We’ve become close in that time, sending each other private jokes and developing a mutual love of Kelly Clarkson. We’ve been to synagogue together, hockey games and shared a lot of dinners. When I had a show he came and I dedicated a cover of Since U Been Gone to him. Basically, we’re developing what looks like either a budding romance or a hard core friendship. Judging by his hand on my breast, I’m voting for romance.

Anyway back to his apartment. We get to his room and he immediately starts taking his and my clothes off. I got a little bit dizzy at this point. It’s hitting me that this boy, who I’ve had a huge crush on for a year is all there, ready to get me naked and throw me down on the bed. This is when reality hits me yet again. I have my period and therefore am not really into getting naked with this boy. I shake him back into reality by saying “listen, I can’t have sex with you tonight.” He says enthusiastically, “that’s fine!” and I interject with “it’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just…” “timing?” he interrupts. I said yes and he said “that’s okay” and continues to take my clothes off.

As we’re rolling around it occurs to me that neither he nor I care that I’m somewhat incapacitated. So I ask him where the bathroom is and tell him that “when I come back, I plan on fucking your brains out.” I swear, I said that to him. He breathed out heavy, fell back on the bed and told me to come back quick.

I came back and we had sex for literally hours. I am so fucking tired I can’t even begin to explain and frankly, I’m having a lot of problems walking today. At one point in the night I said to him “You really want me to never walk again don’t you?” and he replied “nah, just tomorrow.”

During one of our breathers he asked me “did you ever think we would be doing this tonight? Did you ever think we’d be having this much sex? All night?” I smiled and said that I honestly did not but I’m glad I was there. I also told him that this was good, but it doesn’t hold a candle to my “push him over onto his desk” fantasy. His eyes widened when he asked “you have that fantasy?” I grinned and told him I did. He grinned right back and said “I think we’re going to have to work late on Monday.”

Eventually (I think around 6am) we fell asleep. When we woke up in the morning we had sex again. Eventually I left his apartment into the beautiful sunshine. I sent him a text message saying that it was a beautiful day outside.

I was worried when I didn’t hear back from him but around 2 we started a text message conversation that went like this:
Coworker: So nice out! I need to detox
NotIntoYou: Nana says hi, how was hockey?
Coworker: great! We won!
NotIntoYou: I’m so proud, and hungover too! I am really having a difficult time walking J Also I left a glove at your place
Coworker: Ha ha ha sorry J I’ll look 4 the glove
NotIntoYou: Really, it’s okay J

So I think that’s a good conversation. Playful, flirty, casual. I really like this boy and the last thing I need to do is let him know….although he totally knows. Dear lord let me keep this up and not fuck it up!


Anonymous said...

notintoyou- is it weird or are you bent over your work desk?

SomedayGirl said...

Good god i am living vicariously through you