Monday, October 31, 2005

Then you wake up in the morning after…

You know what the best part about sleeping with a coworker is? You get to do not one, but two walks of shame. Well in my case, I get to strut down that catwalk about 7 or 8 times a day because I have to pass his desk to get to the bathroom (which I do frequently).

My first walk of shame was Sunday morning. As I got off the C train and started walking towards my apartment I hear someone call out “NotIntoYou?” I turn to see my roommate doing a similar strut home. Way to go roomie!

The rest of the day wasn’t particularly interesting, went to Jersey to visit Nana, texted back and forth with my coworker, fell asleep way early…

Which brings us to this morning. I got up early, went to the gym and attempted to not think about the day that lay ahead. I was so nervous that I was going to say or so something to fuck this up. I got to work and he wasn’t there. I’m usually there a good hour or 2 before he gets there. I start to work. Around 9:45 he walks in, hands me my glove that I had left at his place, we both blush and I say thanks.

And that was pretty much it. No acknowledgement of what had happened, no private jokes, no IM where he tells me that I look so hot today (totally true) that he can’t concentrate on work. To be fair we did say we would keep this out of work. I think that is really the best thing to do. But the girly girl in me desperately wants to know what’s up. Does he ever want to see me again or was this a one night, drunken thing?

Around 3pm there was a minor panic in the office. A project was thrown at us (me) and we were given about 3 minutes to do it in. He’s explaining to me what I need to do (he’s not my boss, but sometimes it feels that way) and I tell him okay. When I sit down he continues to bark commands at me. I smile and take a deep breath (I really want to smack him) and say “no problem!” It gets quiet for a minute. I IM him and say “see, I told you I would continue to roll my eyes at you.” He laughed, looked across our cubical wall and said “did you really say that?” I was taken a bit aback. How could he not remember every little word I said to him! How dare he! Anyway we got the project done, quickly and without another word about our affair.

Around 7pm he had still not said a word to me about when we might be able to a) talk or b) get naked again. I know it’s work and we can’t talk about it, but I was kinda hoping to be able to see him this week before he goes on a business trip on Wednesday. But he had to go to the hockey game. So he packed up his things and turned to me and said goodnight. He smiled and gave me the half stare/gaze he always gave me and said “you can expense dinner if you want…” I think that’s his little way of saying “I love you.” And then he left. And that was it.

So I sat there, thinking of clever things to text message him. Here are my favs so far:
1. Thanks for bringing back my glove
2. Okay, we’re not at work anymore, can I flirt with/kiss/fuck you now?
3. I look way too hot today to stay in, wanna get a drink after the game?
4. Things “Coworker” should have said to “NotIntoYou” today, ‘good job on that project’ ‘ you look really hot today’ ‘I’m having a hard time concentrating today because I can only picture you naked…’
5. Congrats! We made it through our first day of awkward denial!

Anyway, I restrained myself and have not sent him a text. Laura says (and she’s right) that I should probably just wait and see if he brings anything up. Let’s see if he invites me out, let’s see if he text messages me, let’s see… Right now, though, I’m kinda losing my mind. I keep wanting to text message him or call or email or something. But the thing is, what would that accomplish. He knows I exist, he knows I’m thinking about him, he knows I’m waiting for some kind of sign. He has to know. I refuse to believe that guys are that stupid. The fact is, he’s probably just as freaked as I am and doesn’t want to fuck it up either…at least that’s what I hope.


J said...

Laura is right- you should wait! Don't chase him- play it cool and he'll come around. And if he doesn't he's a damn fool.

SomedayGirl said...


Pete said...

hear hear