Monday, November 07, 2005

I have a date tonight and I couldn’t be less thrilled.

That’s totally not fair, I could totally be less thrilled. Anyway tonight is my first (official) JDate. I had one pseudo JDate last week but it was in a group when a bunch of us went to the Daily Show. He and I decided it “wouldn’t be a date” and we would pretend like we had known each other for years.

Anyway so I‘m feeling kinda depressed. Not sure what it is. I’ve been sick for the past week, I just can’t seem to shake this fucking cough and I slipped a disc in my back while coughing this weekend. So that could be it. It also could be that my insurance didn’t cover the chiropractor today and I had to shell out 220 bucks just for the one visit. It could be that my coworker gave me the most awkward smile ever. It could be that I didn’t sleep very well last night. It could be a lot of things. All I know is that I feel blah.

So he just called. He’s a nice Jewish boy from Maryland if you can believe it. We went to high school fairly close to each other, but he’s a few years older. So he works as an animator for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles. How cool is that? So he shall be dubbed the Ninja Turtle hence forth…assuming I’ll have anything to write about him. I mean, judging from his picture he’s kinda…average. Seems very witty over email but everyone does these days. Email has become the new medium for the get to know you stuff and people are becoming quite good at it. Anyway, we’re meeting for a drink in Chelsea which is kinda weird because he lives in Chinatown, I live in Hell’s Kitchen and we both work in midtown. But he picked it. I’m sure he asked a bunch of his friends where the place to go would be and they all said this place. I’m sure it’ll be fine.

So in other news, Older Navy called me last night. He was feeling down about his sister (fuck, I didn’t tell you guys that his sister passed away a few weeks ago) and he needed some comfort. Whenever he calls he doesn’t want to talk about his feelings, his sister, his family. He only wants to talk about me. More specifically, the things he’d like to do to me if I were with him. This makes me uncomfortable on a bunch of different levels. One, we should be talking about what’s going on in his head, not masking it with sex talk. Two, he and I are not together anymore and I worry that this flirty talk is an indication that he would like to get back together. Third, I kinda like it. I mean, it’s great to get that kind of attention from someone who (without all the bullshit) generally makes you feel good. I mean, he and I were GREAT in the sack together. That was one place we never had any problems. We were also good at the phone sex/flirting thing. He’s so open and free and he made me that way as well. But the thing is, I’ve slept with 3 people since the last time I was with him and I think I feel guilty, feel like I cheated on him if we continue to phone flirt. But then I have to take a step back and realize that he is grieving and as long as this doesn’t lead to anything more permanent, I am happy to help him get through this unbelievably difficult time in his life.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yikes. That's difficult stuff. I still can't call my Jamaica boy and tell him it's not gonna work out for fear that once I wave him off, my sailing days have ended...

Plus, secretly I think it's partially my fault.

Wait. But we're talking about you. This is is not YOUR fault. It's his. He was stinky, and if you get back together after this, he'll be stinky again. So, I'd like to scold you for participating in this...

But I can't.